Today I have to go to the dentist. I really don’t like going to the dentist. I hate being made to lie back while somebody puts all their fingers in my mouth. I hate the feeling of not being able to breathe or swallow. I don’t like the noises and equipment. However, despite all of this, I do treasure my teeth and look after them well. I couldn’t bear to have false teeth in a glass by the bed, grinning at me each morning when I wake up.

I go every six months to have my teeth checked. I have a super duper electric toothbrush that grimaces at me from its bluetooth monitor if I don’t do the whole two minutes. I have a poky stick thingy to clean the gaps between my teeth. I watch makeover programmes and dream about having amazing, perfect, pure white teeth like the ones they give people on there.

For the first time in my life, I am worried that I may have the start of an abscess so am going to have it checked to make sure I catch it early before it becomes really painful. It is a new dentist just round the corner so I am hoping that she is going to be amazing and that I feel no pain (except in my purse, of course). I will not be tempted by the offer of tooth whitening and beautiful veneers.


I think.


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