Grass

Grass…..what is the point of it? It’s green, yes. I’m sure it’s good for the planet too. But it sits there in your garden determined to make your life as difficult as possible. You cut it. It looks good for one whole day (as long as you also strim the edges and occasionally use an edger to keep the borders crisp and clean). Then it starts to grow again. And, boy, does it grow quickly. Before you know what’s happened, it needs cutting again. You then have the problem of the cuttings. If your mower doesn’t pick them up, you have to rake them up. If it does pick them up, you still have to dispose of them somehow. It’s no use creating a pile in the manky corner of the garden because eventually you will have a mountain and the lower part of this mountain will be a stinky, sludgey mess.

Sooner or later it will get bald patches or clogged with moss. It will develop crops of dandelions or daisies. A passing dog will use it as a toilet. Next door’s cat will hide in the long bit you missed last week and pounce out on you when you least expect it. If it is a hot summer (fat chance) it will wither and die and you won’t be allowed to use a hosepipe to water it. If it rains all summer, it will resemble a bog and you won’t be able to walk across it without wellies.

Take my advice……don’t bother with grass unless you want to be run ragged for 9 months of the year!

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One response to “Grass

  1. I do resent the hour or two per week of my life I lose every week during the summer ‘doing the grass’. A guy over the road must get out with nail clippers every other day – but then again he doesn’t seem to have a life…….

    Given our crap weather its a real art to decide when you can cut it, before we have weeks of rain and it gets so wet and so diffiuclt to cut.

    My next abode will have very little, if any grass……….

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