The Perpetrator

This weeks 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups can be found here:
http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-26/
105 words including the 5 prompt words Aghast  Aquamarine  Aeroplane  Acted  After 


Her eyes were hard chips of aquamarinewhere no warmth or comfort could be found.  There were no outward signs of emotion, no tears, no demonstration of regret.  He was aghast at her frozen reaction to this terrible situation.  It was as though she had acted this scene out and that in her mind it was merely make believe.  After he had removed the weapon from the scene, he led her from the building to the car.  She still showed no reaction. Even as an aeroplane roared overhead the ice cold eyes continued to stare ahead, noticing nothing, oblivious to everything in the real world. 

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13 responses to “The Perpetrator

  1. Could be hard-heartednes or just plain shock. We need the next chapter of this one to relieve the suspense.

  2. Maybe this could be the start of my NEXT book (but better get the first one finished first!). Thank you for commenting.

  3. Ooooh good stuff, Lynda! I love your opening sentence and simile therein!

  4. Lynda – your descriptions are always amazing and this is no exception. I love "her eyes were hard chips of aquamarine".

  5. Excellent start. I love the simile in your first sentence. The 'cold' imagery works very well too.

  6. From the description I get the impression she is remorseless, phrases like "The hard chips of aquamarine where no warmth or comfort can be found", "no demonstration of regret", "ice cold eyes". Great descriptive writing!

  7. Compelling stuff. Why? Who is she? What or who made her do it?Want to know more. Keep writing 🙂

  8. Great story – and well written too – did you build it all around her cold blue (sorry, aquamarine) eyes?

  9. oh wow, lots of questions raised by this one! We need more than 100 words!!!

  10. She seems a really cold fish – I'm really wondering what it is she's done, and more to the point, why?!

  11. As I read this, your description sounded as though she was in shock or experiencing a break from reality. It appeared more like she'd been through something psychologically damaging than that she'd been playing make believe.If it's meant to be another character saying these things about her, this story could become an examination of the differences between perception and truth.

  12. Thank you for your lovely comments. There are clues in there – the removal of the 'weapon', her being 'led to the car' should tell you that this is a scene of a crime of some sort. As for the reality bit, well, you might have to wait and see if I develop this into the start of my next novel.

  13. Like others before me, I want to know more!! Excellent description because it gives the reader so many options! Brill!

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